Life has been one nightmare after another
It’s been over 175 days
since I’ve made up my mind to put my tormented thoughts into a clear concise order.
Life has been one nightmare after another; I’ve never been as depressed in life
as I have been over the last six months. I had lost all sense of perspective,
and I found myself in a state of limbo, I could not bring myself to face the
eventual reality that was to follow. All along from day one I knew we would one
day be faced with the grim reality of Liz losing her second leg to the rare
disease of ‘Takayasu’s Arteritis’.
Liz is no quitter, she has
always faced day-to-day problems with a practical outlook on the positive
side of things. I remember when I mentioned to her that she had become the
victim of an incurable, horrendous disease called ‘Takasuisis Arthritis’, she shrugged her shoulders and with her positive attitude to life said,
“The Lord giveth and the lord taketh ‘. She has been through purgatory, the
catholic idea of cleansing of the soul before the final journey to the road
that leads to the Pearly Gates.
Purgatory my ass, was
more a preparation for the trials of Hades, after her amputation of the first
foot, it took more than a year for the
wound to close and heal, in the meantime the disease which was restricted all
this while through medication, once again began to manifest its ugly head in
her second foot. I had never seen Liz grouse, moan or complain even
though she had gone through the ordeals of multiple angiographies, amputations
of her toes followed by her right foot, she braved all these trials and
tribulations but when her left leg started to rankle and the collapsing
arteries began to put pressure on her other veins, resulting in them being
raptured due to being comprised, and triggering extreme panic amongst the
household, did she lose her cool. Twice she had to be rushed to the Global
Hospital for first aid treatment. Liz’s spirit began to wane and I could see
the agony she was going through. The eruptions on her foot began to ooze and
the mucus began to smell, it was a living hell, the excruciating pain, the
foul odour, and the hope for a cure made her cry out in a lamented and pathetic
appeal to her Maker to release her of this ordeal.
Below are some of the
photographs I had taken to send to the various doctors for their opinions and
suggestions
Front view of the foot
Another angle
The inner side of the foot
The outer side
I could do nothing to
alleviate her pain, the world around me seemed to be collapsing, pressure was
mounting on me on all fronts, and my financial status from comfortable began to
go from yellow to red. I searched the internet for hours on end, contacted
doctors from all walks of life, and looked for alternate remedies, to make life
less of a hell for her. I profusely thank all the gracious people who went out
of their way and who took the time to suggest alternative methods of treatment.
I knew all along I was like a drowning man reaching for those straws to pull us
through this ordeal.
I’ve inserted a diagram of
her arterial blood flow given to us by Dr.Darshan, after he had performed a
Doppler test on the 16th Jan 2010. In this test, one can clearly see that the
foot of the left leg had also succumbed to the disease. There was only hope
that through medication on a regular basis, it could be contained.
Life has been good to us;
both of us have had our share of struggles and strife, but this nightmare,
has left us devastated. We knew this was no illusion, the symptoms were there
to see, gangrene had set in, and it was time to act and not delude ourselves
that this would blow over. Jennifer had returned from Kolkata, and it was
decided that she would take her mother to Ahmedabad for the amputation while I
held the fort here in Abu.
For almost eight months our
peaceful existence vanished into thin air, we had no moments of rest, and we
knew there was no escape from this dilemma. We just had to go through it.
Friends and well-wishers dropped in to lend a helping hand some held prayer meetings
to boost her sagging and disillusioned spirit. My restless mind could not be
dampened even after popping sleeping pills; sleepless nights began to take their
toll on my health. In the darkness I pondered on what action I was to take,
sometimes lost in my own opinions, and in this emptiness, I would look for some
respite to this predicament. I was often tempted to just rush Liz off to
Ahmedabad, and surrender her to the surgeon’s knife and be done with it. Oh how
I longed to be rid of this quandary, but I knew I could not delude
myself and had to wait it out till Liz made up her mind to take the final
plunge. I could see Liz struggling through these tumultuous events, and that
she had to make up her mind soon before the gangrene spread through her whole
system.
I will forever remain a
captive to this spectre, to whom do I turn for solace, in an age where
everything is so automatized, folks even near and dear ones are so busy in
their day-to-day schedule that making time to visit a dear friend in need is
indeed an herculean task. I stood beside her in solitude and waited with abated
breadth for her to take the final decision of going in for the amputation and
clinging on to life with its share of both pleasure and pain. I know the zeal
to have achieved great heights in our lifetime now would boil down to a life
of struggle and strife. I know that after the amputation, our lifestyles will
change radically.
I know and feel the
frustration that life isn’t fair, but on looking down the road it isn’t all that
bad. We ran a Doppler test in the first week of June at the Global Hospital and
the prognosis was that the arteries in her leg had narrowed down and that
perhaps stenting would prolong the impending amputation. In light of this
forecast and the unbearable pain, Liz took the final decision to go ahead with
the amputation. Once again I rang up my friends and classmates in Ahmedabad to
arrange for blood for the operation that was to be slated on the 16th of June.
All arrangements with the hospital and the team of doctors had been taken care
of.
The operation went off
without too much of a hassle, there were a few hiccups prior to the operation,
the dye used for the double angiographies one through the arm and the other
through the groin to check the extent and spread of the disease caused a
reaction and Liz had to be given emergency shots to regulate the reaction. Liz
was back in Abu on the 21st of June. What a relief it was for
me to see her sleep through the nights without the Nightmares she had been
going through for the last eight months.
Before I forget, let me
once again thank all who came forward to give us their support and time. Will
be keeping you all updated on this Abode. This year I did not cover the annual
concert or the sports as I’m still wobbly from a natural calamity that struck
my home on the 9th of August. Can you imagine Floods in Abu!!!
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